Day 20 – Love Yourself!

I love me message

How is it going, learning to be patient? It’s an important skill to develop, not only for this game of ours, but for your life in general. Today we will be talking about another very important life skill which is extremely useful in losing weight as well – making peace with yourself and learning to love yourself.

But I Do Love Myself… You Might Say

Of course you do, and you should. But this isn’t about not letting anyone say something bad about you, or thinking that you’re awesome. We’re talking about knowing and accepting every part of yourself, even the parts you don’t like so much.

People tend to hide from the things they don’t appreciate about themselves, and that can cause many issues that they can’t anticipate. None of us is perfect, that is a fact, but hiding from our not-so-great side isn’t going to make it disappear. In most cases, turning the head the other way will make the issues that we don’t want to confront – a real problem, something that could eventually eat us alive.

So we want you to confront what you don’t like in your behavior, to recognize it, to become aware of it. That is the only way you can make it better. If you deny the existence of the issue, you can’t make it better, it will stay as it is and it will be coming back to torture you.
There are probably many of these things, but what we would specifically like to point out are these:

1. Accept Your Past

In the past you were an over-eater; you probably weren’t moving much, you did (and ate) only what was convenient. We aren’t here to blame you (you probably have called yourself names far worse than anything we could come up with). We want you to understand that it’s OK.
You were that person once, but you’re not anymore – and that’s what makes it OK. Who you were once doesn’t define who you are today or who you will be tomorrow.

So don’t hide from your past, don’t throw the pictures of yourself at your highest weight, don’t try to remove it from your memory. It’s not easy, and it certainly isn’t pleasant to reflect on who you were, but what can you accomplish by denying that?

If you’re hiding from it, it probably means that you feel ashamed or guilty, probably ready to beat yourself up and to pass judgment, so you’re running away from it – but these feelings will catch up on you, sooner or later. So why not confront them now?

It is who you were, and instead of feeling bad about it, accept it and be grateful about it: your worse weight can be your first marker, the starting point from which you can track your progress. And if you didn’t reach that marker, you would have probably continued to live your life the way you did, without paying much attention to your health, without feeling the need to.

So, accept who you were, as it will always be a part of who you are and the reason why you’re a better and healthier person now.

2. Having a Thought Is Not a Bad Thing

woman daydreaming about a slice of cake

An occasional thought about some unhealthy food or skipping the exercise is not a reason to feel bad. It’s normal, you can’t escape the thoughts that belong to your past behavior – they are still an impulse to you, and it’s normal that they occur once in a while.

What really makes you a different person now than who you were before aren’t the thoughts that pop up in your head – it’s the thoughts that are there most of the time: you now know what you should do, what you should eat, how you should go about the exercise – that’s the behavior you’re adopting and the goal you’re heading at, and that’s what matters.

You’re still on the right track even if you think of a hot dog, but decide not to buy one; you’re on the right track when you feel you’re not up for the exercise, but you go anyway.

And even if you slip once in a while, if you do buy a hot dog, you know that you are doing the right things most of the time. It’s your general mindset and behavior that matter, not the occasional mistakes. Everyone is allowed to make a mistake, as long as they learn from it – and you aren’t an exception.

In general, don’t expect perfection, don’t push yourself to be strong, disciplined and perfect all the time. It would be pushing beyond your limits, and all of this is meant for you to enjoy your life more, not to torture yourself. The new lifestyle, you’re already living it, you’re headed in the right direction and that’s all that matters.

So cut yourself some slack and use the slip ups to move forward; accept every not-so-perfect bit of yourself as the part that makes you the beautiful person that you are. Make peace with yourself and don’t let the negative thoughts discourage you.

Tomorrow you’ll understand this better, tomorrow you’re reaching another milestone. 🙂